Brain disorders and their symptoms
I asked one of my patients in the name of beautiful (pseudonym): How many years have you been married.
He answered: Nineteen years.
He asked: What has changed in the sexual relationship between you and your husband in such a long time?
After a little thought, he said: Twice a day in the first few months of marriage, then twice a week, then twice a year. It has been many years now that we have been living together as brother and sister.
I asked another Muslim patient Alia (pseudonym): Have you ever invited your husband to have sex?
Or never
Why?
I am waiting for his invitation
Do you not enjoy sex?
Or, I consider it a duty.
But do you not enjoy sex?
Perhaps it is the effect of childhood training, we are shown that sex is only for the birth of a child, not for enjoyment. Now we have three children, I think there is no need for sex now.
I could not believe my ears that I heard such words.
Based on the professional experience of the last three decades, I can say that there are countless women who do not know the secrets of their body and sexual relations.
From the first to the last menstruation, from the first sexual intercourse to the last, even their own body is unknown to them.
Many girls and women are not given sex education, they do not know anything about condoms and contraceptives. They don’t even know that there are only three days in every month when they can get pregnant.
God knows how many women will have sex with their husbands as a duty?
No one has shown them that they can enjoy their existence.
Unfortunately, even in the 21st century, God knows how many women attribute sexual relations to sex instead of love, friendship and friendship. Such people do not know the etiquette of love and relationship.
Many women have told me that they are very shy at their in-laws’ house, they want to tell their husband to take them to a hotel, but they don’t say this to their husband because of their shame.
Compared to the women of the East, Western women are more secretive about their body and sexual relations, they are more involved in love and romance and play an active role in sexual relations.
I asked Western women about love, and they told me that (there is magic in sweet words). In the evening, their existence is as soft as velvet, their heart wants to hug their husband, but the day when their husband humiliates us, they say insulting and disrespectful things, their existence in the evening is like a thorn tree. By touching him, both his heart and soul are hurt. At such a time, let’s not have sex, we don’t even want to see their faces.
Very few people know that Western women’s love and pleasure from intimacy is the result of the women’s liberation movement and gender revolution in the last few decades.
In the West, many adult women still consider it a sin to have sexual intercourse like the women of the East, or they feel ashamed to invite their husbands to have sex.
A senior woman told me that she does this sexual intercourse in the dark, saying that she does not want her husband to see her naked. She has never seen her husband naked.
Some of them even told me that even if they want to, they don’t know how to invite their husband. Some call their husbands but the husband does not understand.
An example is an elderly patient of mine, Nancy (nickname). This woman was suffering from severe depression and later recovered. After that, she came every month for check-up. During the conversation, her husband was sitting in the waiting room.
One day her husband saw me alone and said: Nancy appreciates you a lot, can you ask her why she is not having sex with me?
The next month I asked Nancy: Are you not having sex with your husband?
He replied: I want it, he doesn’t want it. He added that whenever I ask him, do you want to share a bed with me, his answer is negative.
I called Nancy’s husband Stan (pseudonym) to my room and told him: When Nancy says: Can we make bed together? This means let’s have sex.
Stan laughed, patted his forehead and said: If that’s the case, then I’m always ready to share the bed.
After this meeting, the happy moments between Nancy and Stan increased and their life became even more colorful.
Last month, Stan came to thank me for bringing about a wonderful change in his married life thanks to a meeting with me.
Now the question is, are you ashamed to invite your husband to have sex after years of marriage?